Lonely heart

I was married to man I met in college. We were crazy for each other. He was driven and ambitious. I loved seeing that drive and being able to help him in everything that he did. He helped me as best he could in my activities, but I was focused on him. I wanted to do that.

When we graduated and started working, we focused on our jobs and building our life together. After about a year and a half, I realized we focused more on our jobs. Friends were going on vacations and having babies. I realized we were missing out.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't want to go on some lavish trip, but if we went to the beach, I wanted it to be US at the beach... not us at the beach doing work.

Add to that the fact that his job took him away alot. I said goodnight to him on the phone at least two nights a week. There are people out there with spouses that travel and have endured more than this. Believe me, I know. After falling in love with this man and being with him almost constantly for years... I was lonely.

Spending time with my friends who were actually having lives with their husbands and wife did not help at all.

A start

Depending on who you speak to, I'm a bad woman.

I let my marriage die. I broke a man's heart. I've had children out of wedlock.

I'm also involved in what's possibly the most healthy set of relationships in which I've ever had a chance to participate. I'm mother to seven astoundingly wonderful children. Asked to defend it all, I'd say that I'm where I need to be. I'm doing what's right.

More later.